Saturday, 10 March 2012

Hefty Baker was a flue-scraper

Hefty Baker was a flue-scraper
he lit the blue-touch paper
In dog-shit alley,
and, stoked the chimneys
of the bally, tally ho!
He slipped over
on a jolly
in Southend-on-sea,
A costermonger's
long-forgotten cabbage.
Not even Babbage could av
calculated that one.
As he tried to gain
his balance,
he was toppled by his ballast,
bayoneted by
a careless interloper.
But, it weren’t the stoke what choked him.
Oh no! Or, all that coke what broke him.
In the end,
An oesophageal spasm on
That! Was his final catacomb.


  1. I like it. It almost feels like a limerick with the rhymes and everything. I also enjoyed the British colloqialisms throughout the poem. While it may be about the death of this man, it has a sort of up beat, almost mocking attitude. Very good.

  2. Thanks Anthony. I was having a bit of fun with this one.